Managing Stress in the Bedroom

Sex, with its surge of endorphins and other mood-enhancing brain chemicals—not to mention the physical activity involved—is an excellent way to alleviate stress. Unfortunately, dwelling on the countless tasks awaiting you at the office tomorrow or the preparations needed for a 50-person family reunion doesn’t exactly set the mood. Even worse, struggling to feel in the mood for intimacy with your partner can add further stress to the situation.

But don't worry! You can set aside that stress ball and explore some strategies for stepping back from stress so your sex life remains unaffected.

The Connection Between Stress & Sex

The link between stress and sex isn't just a mental concept. According to Psychology Today, stress responses disrupt various hormones. Endorphins, which alleviate pain during stress, also inhibit the release of LHRH (luteinizing hormone releasing hormone). This reduction in LHRH leads to a decrease in LH (luteinizing hormone), crucial for testosterone production. Additionally, FSH, which promotes sperm formation, also diminishes. Moreover, cortisol, the primary stress hormone, reduces the testes' sensitivity to LH. The driving force behind these reactions is the mind, and retraining the brain is essential for reversing the effects.

Naturally, erectile dysfunction is not the sole consequence of stress. When both women and men consistently link the attempt to engage in sex with stress (and the other way around), it can lead to a negative association, making arousal difficult even in the absence of stress.

Therefore, if stress impacts our body's hormones, does it imply that once you're stressed, sex is no longer an option?

Managing Stress in the Bedroom

Stay Active

Physical activity is excellent for stress relief. It not only stimulates the release of brain chemicals that enhance your mood and promote relaxation, but it also allows you to release frustrations through cathartic exercises such as boxing or zumba.

Create Time & Space

In today's hyper-connected world, the boundaries between work and home are increasingly blurred, as many of us continue to see work emails at home, even if we don't respond to them. Even if our stress isn't related to work, household clutter and habits like watching TV in bed before sleeping can confuse the boundaries we set around specific activities and mindsets.

Transform your bedroom into a space dedicated to intimacy by reserving it solely for sexual activities, avoiding distractions like texting or watching Game of Thrones. By consistently keeping these diversions out, you'll naturally begin to associate the room with sex. If you decide earlier in the day to anticipate intimacy—perhaps by planning something unique or treating yourself to a new toy—you'll be ready and excited when the moment arrives.

Mutual Masturbation: An Additional Tool for Your Collection of Sex Toys

It can be quite challenging to avoid thinking about something by simply telling yourself not to. If you're struggling to concentrate during sex, some practice might be necessary. There are numerous excellent mindfulness exercises for couples that you can try with your partner. These exercises will help you both concentrate on each other and offer a fresh and incredibly intimate experience!

Explore a Different Approach

Few things add to stress more than the feeling of letting your partner down. While issues like erectile difficulties and lack of lubrication can be managed in various ways, you can also change your perspective on sex. If stress is making penetrative sex difficult, consider skipping it. Engage in sensual massage, mutual masturbation, or simply watch your partner use their favorite sex toy; these activities all qualify as sexual intimacy. Reducing the pressure on both yourself and your partner allows you to enjoy these experiences just as much!